Jealousy. Such a annoying emotion but also, believe it or not, pretty important.
I've been in both types of relationships. One with too much jealousy and lack of trust, can be overwhelming and out of control causing lots of arguments. With not enough jealousy or protectiveness as I like to think of it as, you think he doesn't not care or can't stand up for himself.
I prefer a relationship with an even amount of trust and jealousy. I'll give you an example of this perfect man, at least how I view perfect anyways.
There will be this guy, so we'll call him Patrick.
Think Patrick Dempsey not Patrick from Sponge Bob.
Patrick is jealous, or more so protective in the way that makes it cute when you and Patrick are out in public and he sees another guy checking you out, (which he always notices, he has a sixth sense for these things) Patrick makes eye contact and gives him a nasty look as he puts his arm around me and plants a soft kiss on my lips.
This is a subtle and I think heart melting show of affection. Patrick cares about who checks you out tries to eye fucks you and makes his statement by also getting brownie points with me, by giving a hug and kiss unexpectedly. An over jealous Patrick would get in the guys face and cause a scene making you in a very dramatic situation. And a Patrick who wasn't jealous would pretend to not see the guy and pretend to melt into the background like a little pansy.
In a perfect relationship with Patrick we would have this trust together that allowed us both to have friends of the opposite sex, because lets just face the facts, we all have friends of all sex, color, and race.
I don't care if Patrick communicates with old friends from high school or even past girlfriends because I know I can trust him to know that it would be friendly hellos only, with nothing more to worry about. Patrick feels the same way with me.
He's protective enough of course that we freely give each other our computer and phone passwords so if we needed to get into them, we could. We both had nothing to hide from one another. In fact it wouldn't be unusual for us to be found using each others phone for our own personal use.
Patrick is in control of his emotions and his love and can be trusted completely to know that he will never intentionally do anything to hurt me. Just as Patrick also knows that he can trust me completely and know he is the only one I want to be with. We both understand that this trust and love means having an open and honest relationship. Having an open and honest relationship is very important to both of us so we always make sure that we communicate as much as possible.
Communication is so fragile so we reassure one another and make sure we are both on the same page. It's something we have always done together just naturally because we both feel the same way about almost everything. Patrick and I are a perfect match.
I'm Patrick's milk to his cookie.
Patrick is my creamer to my coffee.
We're awesome on our own and together we combine our awesomeness like superheros and procreate to have more awesome offspring.
Ok, maybe I went a little overboard with the babies, I still have one in diapers so I won't get ahead of myself here.
This is the dream I had in my head since I was first dating.
I can honestly tell you know that I have found my Patrick and I don't plan on giving this relationship up. We have the connection I always imagined my Patrick would have. We started off as great friends for many years and I think that is the root to most of our happiness. Making a base to the relationship by knowing your partner as a best friend results in true understanding of one another.
It took me many failed relationships to realize this, but I think it was worth it to kiss a few frogs now that I finally have my prince.
My Prince Patrick.